We had to make our decision to move to Sweden within 24 hours, and part of me hopes that the actual move would have been a shotgun move as well. There is nothing worse than waiting, and moving forward slowly and not knowing what comes ahead. The uncertain times still continue, and truth to be told, it has been tough, especially after my husband left.

I’ve tortured my friends with updates like “we didn’t get the house we wanted, will be homeless in Sweden soon”, and complained how hard it is to leave the US, or how sad it is to give away our dog and how people who say they’ll buy your things from Craig’s List don’t show up, and how it breaks my heart to see my kids’ friends and teachers hosting them farewell parties and how much I know they will be missed and they will miss their friends.

Part of me feels like I have to dwell on the bad parts of this move too. I have to carpe the shit out of diem of the crappy days too – or how else the good moments ever felt so good, if tough times weren’t meant to feel tough too?

It’s OK if it’s tough

My mother-in-law said to me (halfly joking, I hope) that part of her is happy that we are having rough time moving out of the US, because it sure is hard for her to see us go. And I get it. We are super excited about the move, can’t wait to live in Europe, and every day I see so many things around me that make me think “thank God we are moving to Sweden.” But how would people around me feel, if I mentioned these all the time? I think it is important for our family and friends to see too the real struggles we go through too, and the reality without sugarcoating it.

We talk about things we will miss and things we won’t miss with the kids all the time. I tell them more about Europe, they are too young to remember much from when we lived there and have visited the last times. I want them soak every single thing they love about Beacon, New York, were we live, and I want them to remember the things we don’t like here either. I’ve learned so much about my children this way. If we had only focused on the positive sides and how wonderful everything will be, I would have missed a huge opportunity to teach my children about life, and I would have missed an opportunity to get to know them better.

The things we won’t miss…

In one of the pictures my youngest drew was a Walmart with its big parking lot, and McDonalds on the other side, a sushi restaurant on the other side. The Walmart and the McDonalds parking lots were empty and the sushi restaurants parking lot was full. I asked what he thought when we drew the picture, he said “I don’t like McDonalds and Walmart, and maybe other people will learn to like the sushi place more too.” It reminded me of the lunch date in the school cafeteria earlier this school year with him. It was the lunch with parents day, and I had brought in a healthy lunch for him, and the parent sitting in the same table had brought a Happy Meal for her child. The principal of the school walks by and says “lucky you, you got a Happy Meal” for the kid with french fries, soda and chicken nuggets. My son’s face was stunned. How could the principle say “lucky you,” didn’t she know McDonalds food was unhealthy? My then 8-year old whispered to me he was the lucky one to get the healthy lunch and gave me a hug.

I understand that many things frustrate the kids too, and I know they will flourish in Europe. I know this is the right decision for our family. But still, knowing all this, it’s still not easy to hug your best friends, say good byes, get rid of everything you own, give away your dog and pack up and go.

Living in the moment

I don’t allow myself to think that a week from today I will be on our stopover in Iceland soaking my tired mind and body in Blue Lagoon hot springs. It will be amazing journey. But now, I still have to scrub a New York apartment, say farewell for our family pet who can’t come to Sweden with us, sell my car and pack everything. And I am taking every moment in as it comes.

Realization: It’s Just Stuff

One good thing about moving is getting rid of your stuff.
Many might see that as the downside of moving, and I have to admit, it’s not easy.

The past two months I have been looking almost every single object that we own with questions in my mind (Can I live without this? How much did this cost? Did I get my money’s worth? If I’d never see this thing again, would I be OK? What memories this thing comes with?) and piling them in one of three piles: to donate/sell, to trash, to keep.

And the “keep” pile I have been going through a time, after time, after time and taking more things from the “keep” pile to the other two. Because while at first it seems like every single thing in our home had a special meaning, cost so much money that I didn’t want to get rid of, or was fancy, or “I might use it again”, or was just useless, pointless, but just plain pretty.

On the end of the day – not many items were things that I couldn’t live without.

I was on the right track when the thought hit me: what if I had to leave this house in an hour, what would I take?

And the number of items in the “keep” pile started being smaller and smaller, and I realized that the things that are important are not necessary the ones that have high dollar value. I started getting a feeling “it’s just stuff”, and asked myself to let it go.

I kept saying to myself “it’s just stuff, it is not important.”

Refresh

I found a few local families/single moms who didn’t have much and had lost what they had for different reasons, and it felt so good to be able to help these people to create Christmas in their homes with simply giving away our old things.

Even if you are not moving, it’s a great idea to go through your home and get rid of things you might not need anymore and donate them for people who would enjoy them. You will feel good about helping – and your home will feel refreshed with less stuff.

And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit this… getting rid of the old stuff is great… because shopping for new stuff will be fun too…

You will realize that stuff sometimes keeps us from doing things in life we would like to. Or have you ever said or “I wish my home would look like from a design magazine, but it’s always so cluttered” or “I’d do more crafts if I had a place where to do crafts” (and because you have so much stuff, you can’t find place to do crafts)?

Oh, how many times I haven’t pulled out the blender for a smoothie, just because my kitchen counter is too full, or how many times I’ve left the house with the perfect scarf for my outfit, just because I couldn’t find it from all of my stuff… Organization might be another topic, but it starts with a refreshing clean up & getting rid of stuff!

A moment in my life…

Today was freezing in New York. The wind was brutal, and all I wanted to do the entire day was to stay home and sit by the fireplace and drink hot tea. And most of the day I did, until I had to get out to pick up kids from school.

I felt useless and that I hadn’t accomplished as much as I had wanted to (I actually did: I booked our flights to Sweden, it’s official: we have a moving date!) and was cranky for kids too, just simply because I felt bad about myself.

What was happening to me? The feelings of happiness of moving but sadness of leaving were driving me crazy, and the lack of sleep and the long moving to-do list were getting to me. And as you can read from this post – I may be really losing it.

I felt like blogging this moment in my life – and maybe you too are inspired to do a small thing – that can be a big thing.

It’s Just Coffee

Kids were starving and tired, but we stopped at the small local grocery store on the way home.

“I’m tired.”
“I’m cold.”
“I don’t want to go to store, can’t I just have a sandwich for dinner?”

As we were walking towards the store, we noticed two young men collecting money and giving out pamphlets.

“We are from “Transforming Men to Transform the World”, it’s a Christian organization helping men to transform their lives, we help drug addicts and others to find a better lifestyle.”

Or he said something like this, all I heard was “Christian” and that they “help people to get a new lifestyle” and yadda yadda yadda. It would have been easy to walk by and hush my kids to the store, we were all freezing outside, but then I looked at one of the young men in the eyes. I could see how sincerely he wanted to help someone, and I could believe that he in fact was doing his small or big part of transforming someone’s life, and making a difference. Maybe he was just brainwashed by a Christian cult for all I could know, but I felt his sincerity.

“How long have you been standing here in the cold today?” I asked.

“Since nine o’clock on the morning” he said.

It was four o’clock on the afternoon.

“Holy crap!”

Oops, maybe “holy crap” wasn’t the right choice of the words and I’m sure I offended them and was a bad example for my kids, and yadda yadda yadda, but it slipped out of my mouth. And it really felt craptastically cold, my hands were freezing and I only walked from the warm car to the store front!

“Has anyone brought you coffee or anything else warm to drink?”

“No, but we don’t need anything, God is keeping us warm.”

As we entered the store, I could have easily brushed off that conversation of my mind, but it made me think.

How come someone can have such a strong belief that he feels warm inside even in the freezing weather?

Was it God really doing it? But if God was doing it – why in the world didn’t He control the weather a bit better today for those poor guys standing outside? What was God trying to tell them? Test their faith? Well, I think I’d say they passed it.

Then I had a thought – maybe God was trying to send me a message, maybe I should be the one taking those men hot coffee. Maybe I should do more what I know is the right thing to do, and what I deep in my heart want to do.

The kids and I talked about the men trying to help others, and how cold they must be outside, and after leaving the store, we all wanted to get them coffee. We left our car in the parking lot and walked to a close by bakery coffee shop. We could have driven, but I don’t think we would have felt the same way. I wanted to feel the cold wind on my cheeks, and on the kids’ cheeks, and I wanted us to feel the contrast of the warmth of the coffee as we carried them back to the grocery store parking lot.

As soon as we entered the parking lot and the young men saw us, my daughter had this biggest smile on her face.
She was so happy and so proud what we had just done.

It was just coffee and fresh croissants, but I hope it felt much more for the young men receiving them, because it felt much more to us.

“Thank you so much, you didn’t have to do this,” he said.

“I didn’t do it. This is how God is keeping you warm,” I said.

Tell your story – how are you helping people around you? If you have blogged about it, please leave a link!

Carpe or not to carpe

A friend of mine shared with me a blog post, what she called “anti-Katja” (or anti-skimbaco) post written by Glennon of Momastery titled “2011 Lesson #2 : Don’t Carpe Diem”, and I agree, the entire thought of trying not to seize the day just doesn’t go well with me.

In Glennon’s post she is annoyed by those older women who come to us in the grocery store and look at us with our herd of children and say annoying things like “enjoy every moment of it,” and how time goes so fast, and how wonderful the time was when her kids were young.

Every moment can’t be a happy moment

And I get it.
We do feel like punching that older lady in the face, because it’s past dinner time, and we are just now trying to scramble some dinner fixings from the store, the kids’ homework isn’t done, and one of them is feeling sick and will most likely throw up in the car before we make it back home.
And I’m supposed to what…? Enjoy every moment of this..? Carpe diem?
I get the annoyance, and I get that life is hard and every moment can’t be a happy moment.
But it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to seize the moment and more precisely: pay attention.

I agree with many things with the writer, especially agree with the annoyance of people who always find the silver lining in everything, and who think we should be happy perfect mothers who love every minute of mothering every minute of every day. At the same time, I’m the master of finding a silver lining in everything if I want to, but I also can’t stand those people who are standing in the biggest shit storm of their lives and keep smiling trying to tell how they actually like the smell of poop.

Why not Seize the Shit?

There is absolutely nothing wrong about seizing the moment as it is when things are not perfect, and I think this is the biggest misconception people have.

Misconception of trying to be happy and perfect all the time.
Misconception that happy life doesn’t include any pain.
Misconception of not seizing the misfortunes or pain of life.

The writer looks for good fleeting happy moments in life what she calls “Kairos time,” happy time, “those magical moments in which time stands still.” You know those moments, moments of short bliss, which we can’t even remember what they were on the end of the day, but we can happily put our heads on our pillows and be thankful for life and that we had those blissful moments in our day. The rest of her life she calls “Chronos” and describes it as the regular time, “the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.”

Seize some Skimbaco Time

I believe we are able to find an additional time in our life, called Skimbaco.

Not your regular time of nothing special is going on, and not your moment of fleeing bliss, but a time when you take control of your life, and you seize the moment as what it is, good or bad.
It is deciding that you enjoy what ever life has given you for that moment, taking it in and living in the moment.
It is learning from that moment how you can grow as a person, how you can use this moment as a future reference for something even better.
It is living life to the fullest.

Take a mental picture of the good time in life to keep it going that way – or to remember it later.
You will not just have a short moment of bliss, but a mental rush, and happiness of truly enjoying life as it is.

Take a mental picture and notes from the bad time in your life to learn from it, to remember it when you are living your “Chronos” time to appreciate the everyday grind more, to motivate you to make the boring extraordinary, to give you a sense of accomplishment once you have gone through the tough time.

The only way to live Skimbaco lifestyle is to seize the days of your life, not to let the daily routine, not-that-happy life to become “this is what it is and I’m supposed to enjoy every minute of it”, but to guide you to build a life(style) that you truly feel you are living life to the fullest. I know that sometimes when things are tough, illusion is needed, and silver lining might be the only thing we have, but if we let the silver linings of life become the new bliss, we are making the biggest injustice to ourselves – we are denying ultimate happiness and we are denying Skimbaco, living life to the fullest, from ourselves.

Don’t Settle for Silver Lining

I grew up in a home where I was taught to always look for the silver lining. When my leg was broken and I couldn’t walk, I was encouraged to be happy that it was only temporary, at least I could one day walk again. I was always taught to look at the bright side.

And I do, don’t take me wrong, I still do. But it took me a long time to realize that there is no shame that shit happens in life, and that we should hold our heads high even when that happens and seize it, not try to hide it by always finding a silver lining. I‘m afraid I’d eventually settle for unhappy life, just because I was able to find enough many silver linings in it. I much rather have difficulties in life so I can learn from them, and that I will constantly move towards better life balance of more Skimbaco in my life, and finding what my Skimbaco could look like and how it evolves with me.

To me living in a constant “chronos” ending every day with a thought “I made it through” and only finding a few moments of bliss would be settling. I will not settle for “finding a silver lining” in everyday, I rather dwell in the shittiest moments of my life until they force me to change my life in a way that moments of bliss have turned into living life to the fullest every day. It’s not easy, nor fast, and you have to have guts to seize the worst of life to truly appreciate the better times, and really know why you work hard not to live in a routine but you want to make your life extraordinary. Thus I feel like carpeing the shit out of diem isn’t for sissies. You need guts to go through hell in life and seize every minute of it. I think that’s part of growing as a human and part of finding what living life to the fullest means to you.

Most popular blog posts of 2011

What did Skimbaco Lifestyle readers enjoy reading in 2011? Here is a short overview of some of the most read posts of 2011.

MOST POPULAR LIFESTYLE POSTS

Is my husband cheating on me? I read the signs to find out! It’s a thought-provoking post and many didn’t understand that I actually never thought my husband was cheating on me. I hope it makes you think that you too can find many answers from within.

Inspirational quote from Steve Jobs: Don’t waste your time living someone else’s life We lost a great innovator this year, and his inspiration keeps guiding us.

Inspirational quote: Integrity is… This integrity post also really hit home for many of you and it is another popular one.

Blogging as a Lifestyle Choice This post also made many think blogging differently – and hopefully your own life, even if you don’t blog. We often feel we have to do like others do, well, we don’t.

MOST POPULAR FASHION POSTS

Missoni for Target – See the Clothing & Accessories Photos This was the second most read post of the year! Did you buy anything from the collection..?

DIY “Home Couture” Halloween Spider Witch Costume I am thankful that so many liked the Halloween costume we did together with my tween, and a careful question – would you like more posts like this..? I am crafty, I just don’t show that part of me here often.

How to Save 70% on Coach Factory Sale I hope I was able to help many of you to save money on your Coach accessories!

Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony Collection at KOHL’S I have to say, the Marc Anthony collection is awesome, and no wonder this was one of the top googled posts.

Girls’ Night In Outfit Ideas We did a cool Twitter party for Redbook magazine with the Girls’ Night In theme and this post was one of your favorites and me too – I love the outfit ideas!

MOST POPULAR PERSONAL POSTS

I quit my job and am starting something new The year before I felt I wasn’t living life to the fullest and started the year by quitting my job & going back to truly living Skimbaco lifestyle. I did start new things… but mainly I focused on finding happiness and balance. And I did.

The phone call you never expect to receive This post is about how I found out we are moving to Sweden. We made the decision in a matter of minutes and were ready to go. Because that’s how we live life to the fullest.

MOST POPULAR RANDOM POSTS

Angry Birds Headquarters in Finland It was a rare opportunity to meet the inventor of Angry Birds game, and no wonder you wanted to read all about it!

Why are O.B. tampons sorry? I rarely write about marketing here, even though it is one of my passions.. but this post I made it personal and sort of funny. And you liked it..? Numbers don’t lie, this is one of the most read posts of the year.

Finnish Education Is the best and American Sucks? Not so fast I felt brave and voiced my opinion about education system and many of you liked the frank way I approached it. I loved writing this post – do you want to hear more what I really think..? I have opinions, often I’m just afraid to voice them all.

2012 Mercedes-Benz M-Class – Luxury SUV for Living Life to the Fullest I liked the Mercedes too, but you really liked it, and this was the most popular what I could call “a product review” post, which I rarely even write. Would you like to hear my opinion of cars or other products more often?

MOST POPULAR GUEST WRITER/CONTRIBUTING WRITER POSTS

7 Keys To Happiness Because it’s an awesome post, and who wouldn’t want to be happier? (Read it)
How to Dress Up a white Hanes tee Every wardrobe must have: a white Hanes tee – because you can dress it up in so many ways!
25 Bloggers Share their Best Girlfriend Tips I wrote this together with 25 of my girlfriends, and I loved it too!!!

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE?

I would love to hear what has been your favorite post to read so far, and what kind of posts you enjoy reading.
And please subscribe to my blog via email so you can get it easily delivered to your inbox. And you know, you subscribing would just make me so happy.

A moment in my life…

Today I entirely get the meaning of the saying “be careful what you wish for.”

Two of my big wishes came true.. but I can’t have them both at the same time!

The business dream I have been dreaming and working for is happening. I have been wanting to move back to Europe to travel more there and give that opportunity for my children as well and we are moving to Sweden next year. This is all amazing news, and I am more thrilled than I could be.

The thing is – I can’t build a business in the US while living in Europe, now can I?

Now, of course I can via social media, and that’s why I work online so I am able to work from anywhere in the world, but at the same time – it’s not going to be the same.

I’m afraid I am disappointing people, I’m afraid I will miss opportunities.
I’m afraid I’ll disappoint myself.

I am even afraid – what if I am making the wrong choice and picking the “wrong dream”? And how do you know which one is the better one to choose from? I can think of 100 reasons to move to Sweden, and 100 reasons why to stay in New York. I can think of emotional reasons, I can think of logical reasons.

I feel in my heart and I know in my head that moving the Sweden is an amazing opportunity for our family, and it is the right choice. We had to make the decision very fast and I didn’t have any hesitation when making it. Most of the people whom we tell about it think how crazy it is that we made up our mind in less than 24 hours to pursue this and it took less than five days to make it official. We could have spent weeks and weeks to think about it more, and yet we would have come to the same 100 reasons why and why not. And we still would have had to make the decision knowing that either way, things are not perfect, and we would have to make sacrifices whether it’s sacrificing the amazing opportunity or sacrificing what we have in New York.

The bottom line question what I asked my husband when we were considering this was this:

Think of us sitting in our home in New York six months from now.. watching TV and there is something filmed in Stockholm on. Would we hug each others and say we are happy right where we are, like we are now, or would be look at each others and say “we should have taken the job, we should have gone to Sweden”.

We both said “we would say we should have gone”. And the decision was easy after that.

I truly believe that you regret the most the things you didn’t do and you had the chance to do them. I do not want the shadow of the dreams and wishes that could have come true to follow me the rest of my life. I rather have these moments when I am feeling “why did I ask for this” and be overwhelmed by the fact the wish came true and the fact that the reality never is exactly how you dream it to be. Like… Ideally I would be already transported myself, my family and everything we own to a nice apartment in Stockholm. But in reality there are so many things that will have to happen before we are living our Scandinavian lifestyle in Stockholm.

I will most certainly have to work very hard to make this wish come true. Selling everything we own is very overwhelming. Logistically and emotionally. Saying goodbyes to people I love and are part of our everyday life is tough.

Sometimes we forget that life isn’t always easy, even when dreams come true and we are living our happily ever afters. Life takes a lot of hard work, guts to follow through and patience to climb to the top.

But it is not an excuse NOT to even try.

A moment in my life..

A new door opened in my life, totally unexpected.

And while it sounds like this is a once-in-a-lifetime moment, this type of things are sort of typical in my life. Things like this happen when you pick the perfect man to share your life with, who completely gets who you are. Who wants to explore this life and world together.

These kind of things happen when you are open to possibilities, think anything is possible, and work hard to make even impossible things happen.

These kind of things happen when you live skimbaco lifestyle.

The phone call…

I was sitting in the train going to New York City and reading the latest edition of Fast Company, and enjoying my moment of non-connectivity with my phone on silent. But you know how it is – we social media folks can go only so long (like 20 minutes) without our technology soul mates, and I had to check my phone.

6 missed calls from my husband.
And a text message “Can you talk? Please! Very important!!!”

Six calls, three explanation marks, and my heart sinks, this has to be important, my husband would not do this for nothing.

I’m waiting my phone to dial my husband’s number and my mind is racing.
Is it the kids, did something happen? Where am I? When is the next stop if I need to get out of the train and go back home?

He answers on the first ring.

“Just tell me, is something wrong? What’s going on?” I say not giving him a chance to speak.

“Are you sitting down?” he asks.

I’m thinking well, what the heck do you think, I’m in the train, but realize this might not be the time to be sarcastic.

“Yes, please just tell” because my head might explode if I don’t know immediately.

“Well, I was offered a job. In a different country. Guess where.”

Um, what? And no more these games, just blurt the heck out what you have to say because I can’t take this excitement anymore.

“No idea, just say, come on, just tell me what happened” I say a plead in my voice.

“My boss just called and he offered me a position in Sweden” and he goes into details what the job would be, and “do you wanna move to Sweden?”

I can’t help it but tears start falling down my cheeks.
Relief, excitement, joy.
Scared, stressed, emotional.
I brush my tears off and say the same words I have said to the man I love, and to the life I love so many times before.. “I do.”

Now might be a good time to subscribe to my blog via email to continue reading what happens next in our journey of living Skimbaco Lifestyle.

Random acts of Thank-You!

Okay my friends: This week’s Gracious Me is going to be a little DIY. Okay a DIYTYN…Do It Yourself Thank-You Note!

Here’s What You Need:

Pen
Paper
Envelope
Stamp
Spirit of Gratitude

With Thanksgiving on the horizon, let’s warm up our thankful spirit with a short writing assignment. So often we save the thank-you process for big holidays when the lists are so long and the thank-you writing guilt follows us like Pig Pen’s dust cloud. But this DIY isn’t a “have to,” it’s a “want to.” Showing care and gratitude in a surprising way.
Who doesn’t love a hand addressed envelope among the bills and coupon ads? Can I get an “amen!”

So take a moment and think of something kind someone has done for you or a relationship you are thankful for. Now that you have it, pour a cup of tea, jot down a few words of gratitude and pop them in the mail. It’s a simple act, but one that will really make someone’s day. It’s said, “It is better to give than receive” and I think you’ll find this little Gracious Me DIY to be as wonderful for you as it is for whom you wrote the note.

I can’t wait to get writing and hear about your DIY experience.

In the spirit of our October Gracious Me series on tricks or treating, today we turn our Halloween eye to the art of the trick. The tricky thing about the “trick” is it seems harmless, when really it has the potential to not only harm our personal brand but those on the receiving end, see us as well.

Here are a few thoughts on taming that little thing called trickery…

Just a little white lie… What’s the harm? No one is getting hurt… I said, “I was sick” to coworkers when I wanted to meet a friend for a day of shopping and lunch. Too bad your coworkers have the same taste in restaurants that you and your friend do. The tricky thing about the little white lie is that it can easily snowball into a very dark cloud that is hard to shake. What seems harmless upfront can really affect peoples’ trust in who we are and what we have to say.

What they don’t know won’t hurt them… With all of the fun around social media, it can be easy to “little white lie” to improve our brand. Perhaps you want to be a “chicken roasting expert” but have never laid hands on the bird or you’ve been asked to write about green living but your garbage is over flowing with paper, plastic and glass. Bending the truth never hurt anyone…that is, until real life and social media intersect and now people no longer trust us even in the areas where we really are an expert. As my mother said, “honesty is always the best policy” even if it isn’t the most convenient… keep it real. Your readers will appreciate it.
Saving Face… So you’re running late, and tempted to blame it on traffic… even when traffic happened to be a “red light” or you forgot to call someone back and tempted to say your “husband didn’t give you the message.” As tempting as this little trick might be, own up to your error by apologizing and moving on.

So what can we do? As tricky as it can be, make a concerted effort to live a truly honest life. Catch ourselves when we are tempted even with the whitest of lies. Keep in mind that trust is a gift that others give us and once it’s tarnished with trickery… it’s very hard to get back.

How do you feel about a little trick now or then? Let’s discuss…

Skimbaco Lifestyle is all about living life to the fullest right now, and enjoying what we have today. But it doesn’t mean that you should live recklessly, or without thinking about the future. Not at all!! Quite the opposite. Genworth Financial contacted me and rightfully reminded me that financial planning is also needed, and I do agree.

Creating the lifestyle that you love living takes time, and it takes a lot of planning. But I also don’t think anyone should deprive themselves an enjoyable lifestyle today so they can enjoy life in the future. There has to be a balance!

Many times when I speak about achieving a lifestyle you love one topic pops up in people’s minds. Money. While yes, money gets us many enjoyable things, but it doesn’t buy you happiness, and I think many people are miserable in their lives because their focus is in trying to make more money so they could be happy without realizing that money will never make you happy, and you will never have enough of it. When you get more money you will just think of more ways to use it and it is a circle of chasing money. My personal opinion is that you should make money doing something you love, something that you would like doing anyways even if you were not being paid. That way we live life with purpose and enjoyment – but are still living smart. You can not be happy or enjoy your life if it is overshadowed with money trouble, that’s for sure.

This is why proper lifestyle planning is so important, and while I love writing about happy light stuff like how new clothes can lift up your spirit, let’s have a serious moment here. You can’t be like a kid who spends all of her allowance on candy. Heck, even my kids don’t do that. Other kids ask them if they want to go buy candy and my kids answer they are saving their money for college. And me too – I worry more about my kids college than my own financial future, and that’s not right, especially for my kids who might be the ones having to pay the bills!

Women outlive men – take charge of your financial future

I read a post how my friend Susan’s Nana lived to be 93 years old and she lived the last 33 years as a single, retired woman. Both of my grandmothers, Mummo and Mamma, stories are a lot like Susan’s Nana’s. Now – what if that happened to me? Or you? And who is going to pay me living life to the fullest when I’m old and I can’t work anymore? I know, that’s a question we will hear a lot more about in the presidential race and politics, but I don’t think we can leave it up to society and the politicians to figure out and hope there is a solution when we are old.

Sadly, we can’t leave that to our husbands either. My husband handles the money related things in our household, and while we had good intentions and started doing it all together, at some point I just sort of dropped the ball, and let him take care of it. But I should start paying more attention, and so should you. Ideally I would die on a same day with my husband, holding his hand after over 70 years of marriage, and go together with him, like an Iowa couple did last week, but this Notebook-style movie scenario doesn’t happen often. Cold fact is that women live 5 to 10 years longer than men, and statistically there is high change that we will outlive our husbands – hopefully not by over 30 years like Nana, Mummo and Mamma did. Only 15% of the people who live to be over 100 years are men according to Tom Perls, founder of the New England Centenarian Study at Boston University.

I know, you didn’t want to read this – I didn’t want to write it either, but let’s face it, woman, you need to know the facts, life ain’t all unicorns and puppy dogs handbags and high heels.

Long Term Care

I know nobody wants to think about possibly being alone the last decades of our lives and possibly living in a long term care facility (or having someone to come to your home to care of you), but I guarantee you it will be easier to sit down, do your research and think about it ahead of the time than just go with the flow.

Genworth Financial is a great place to start, and what I found out from their site wasn’t really the information I wanted to spice up my day with. They stated that at least 70% of people over age 65 will require some long-term care and of those who need long-term care, 40% are under age 65. While this might not be timely for your own life right now and you are like me and more worried about sending the kids to college one day, this definitely is something that you should be talking about with your parents and especially your mother or other women in your family. Take the next step now.

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post by Genworth Financial, but all of my opinions are my own. I thought it was a great topic, and hopefully it will help you and your loved ones for better financial future. Come and thank me later.