I got an interesting phone call this week, my quote about our happy love story was checked for an upcoming Glamour magazine article (in the January issue). The fact that it might be published is tickling me, but it made me think more love, marriage and how do we keep “it” going.
One way we do it, is the “remember when..” talk. More about that in a little bit.
I have been married for eleven years, and known my husband for twelve years. There are days that I feel like it has been an eternity, and days that I feel that time has gone too fast, and I want time to go slower.
I consider myself lucky.
I am living my Cinderella story and happily ever after, and I believe in love at first sight. But does it mean that I live a fairy tale and my marriage is always perfect, full of sunny days and sleeping on rose petals? Far from it! This marriage stuff is hard, and I think marriage is a constant battle. Using the word battle with all kindness here.
After 12 years I am still absolutely head over heels in love with my husband, but it hasn’t come easy on us. I have almost walked away three times. I like to live life to the fullest every minute and if I am not, I am not afraid of changing my life to make it better. And I’m not patient. At all. I’m sure my husband has almost walked away many many times. I am not the easiest person to live with, and I know it – hey, I have to live with myself everyday! But yet after all the mistakes, and the love, and the life we have shared, we still go strong as a couple. In fact, stronger than ever. More in love than ever.
One of the ways we do it is the “remember when…” talk.
Remember when we first saw each others
Remember when we first kissed
Remember when you proposed me
Remember when our first baby was born
Remember when we decided to move to the other side of the world
We remember together, cherishing the moments and memories, and getting that warm and fuzzy feeling of those moments when we fell in love with each others in the first place, and living again the moments when we knew “this was it”. We remember, so we know those first feelings were true, and still are true. We remember, so we can see that we still have the same feelings for each others, even though little altered by time. We remember, so we can see how many amazing moments we have shared.
But it is not just that. We remember the heartbreaking moments and the obstacles too.
Remember the good-byes at international airports
…. when we didn’t know if we were ever even going to see each others again
Remember when you left for Kosovo, and we were so scared
…. and I was pregnant with our first baby
Remember when we gave CPR to our son together
Remember when you held me in the hospital and fed me
…. when I didn’t have the strength
We remember, so we realize how far we have become. We remember, so we see we can accomplish anything and everything together. We remember that even on hard times, we have each others, and always had. We remember that we’ve had obstacles but instead of them tearing us apart, they have just gotten us even tighter together.
I think for a while we forgot to “remember when..”. Now we are doing it again, and it feels good. It feels good to share the memories and how they reflect on us now.
On bad times remembering the good times gives you hope.
On good times remembering the bad times makes you appreciative, and staying humble and thanking for each day for happiness you have.
One of my secrets to happy marriage is “remember when..” talk. What is yours?