I am determined to make a change in my life to become a healthier me. I looked at myself in the mirror two weeks ago and I felt like the character in Drop Dead Diva – who the heck is that person, whose body I am in? See the picture of me above with Beth Feldman in the Drop Dead Diva event earlier this year – that might be how you know me, but that person with those fat arms sure isn’t how I know myself!
I haven’t been feeling and especially looking like myself for a long time and now I am going back to basics – and back to me. Part of it was that I wanted to have a dramatic change in my look two years ago when we moved to New York; I cut my long hair short for the first time since fifth grade and hid behind thick Prada glasses. I also had some health problems, and I was just trying to get myself back into normal. Being in shape was not even close to what my goal was – I was just happy if I was able to breathe through skiing a few runs.
But at some point my health got better, and yet I didn’t start exercising or getting myself really back in better shape. At the same time I was thinking if I really wanted to get in shape, I could anytime. I just didn’t feel like it. Or I was busy. Or bunch of other excuses.
There was also a part of me that was proud of me that I was able to hold my head high even if my clothing size had gone to double digits. And after fighting so many years after having anorexia when I was 18, I was OK I didn’t have the health problems that low weight brings you. But then it started getting more difficult to find the clothes that I liked that would fit my new “curves”. It really started upsetting me that Ralph Lauren couldn’t be my go-to brand, because the clothes just didn’t fit me right anymore. Or that they really don’t make ski pants with a higher cut to hide your muffin top.
My best friend has gone through a huge transformation the past year and is now probably in her best fit ever in her life, and while I was happy to get her clothes that now had become way too big for her – at the same time I wanted to be the one giving away clothes that were too big for me. (Dammit, I have been just getting rid of clothes that are way too small for me!)
Two weeks ago I was in Scottsdale and I was hanging out with my good friend Brooke, who was on a super diet and was practically eating nothing. I was not being a good friend to her – I was trying to get her to eat out and forget about dieting – she looks amazing anyways, why would she need a diet? But her determination and will power impressed me, and after a week of traveling and seeing all the partying in Las Vegas, where I was for BlogWorld Expo, I decided that it is time to make a change in my lifestyle too – to become healthier me. I want to go back to being me, back to the fit girl who loves sports and does sports. I don’t want to wait ’til New Year to make any resolutions – I am on my way now. Today marks my 10th day of exercising and eating healthier, and I already feel better. Who’s with me? Want to join me in becoming healthier us?