Gracious Me: To Be A Better Friend

October 6, 2011 VIP Guest Blogger

Today’s Gracious Me column is written by fabulous guest writer Lisa M Frame of A Daily Pinch and Mommyality.

Friendship has many different meanings to people. When I make a true friend, they are for life. I don’t discard friends, instead I treasure them as a precious jewel. Unfortunately, no matter how much you treasure your friends, it doesn’t mean they hold you in the same regard. It’s been a hard lesson to learn and one I’ve experienced recently.

It’s painful and leaves your heart as broken as if you had lost a lover. It’s hard to think about losing people so close to you, knowing they are out there and not part of your life. They might not even tell you they are leaving you. Just one day, they stop being there, leaving you alone. The phone doesn’t ring. The text messages stop. Sure, you get a one off email that says “I Love You” and they are thinking about you, but in your gut, you know.

That’s why I’m sharing this quote with you. I read this and took it to heart so much, I saved it on my computer as wallpaper. It’s a reminder of what being a friend means to me, as well as what I don’t want in friendships going forward.

However, I do know what I want to do going forward with my friendships:

I want to love my friends knowing they aren’t perfect. They have their own faults and flaws and I choose not to judge, but accept.

I want to set a good example not only for my son, but for my current friends and acquaintances.

I’m going to set boundaries. Sometimes, being a good friend is about saying no as much as it’s about saying yes. If my friends respect me, they will respect my boundaries.

I will disagree with my friends. Instead of worrying about their feelings, I will trust they respect my opinion enough to accept what I offer openly.

I will be graceful and find grace in the situation. Even if they end the friendship, I will not back away from my core values as a person to air negativity.

I will keep some things sacred and for me only. It’s better for everyone.

I will not put my friends on a pedestal.

I will communicate. When in doubt? I will ask.

I will respect my friends. If I wouldn’t want something done or said, would my friends?

I’ll minimize. If they have a hard time following my personal guidelines, then I will have to minimize face to face time. However, I wont’ walk away from them. I’ll explain why. Wouldn’t it be great if we could plug back in to energize? But, friendships don’t work that way. We have to have time away to charge our own batteries, so we don’t drain others.

Research has shown that a persons overall happiness can be directly correlated to successful relationships. It increases with based on their ability to have a strong relationship with other people. Which is something I agree with 100 percent.

What will you do to make your friendships stronger, yet have your boundaries respected?

Guest post by Lisa M Frame. Lisa M Frame is a over-achieving, under-organized Southern-Gal. Blogging since 2002, Lisa has developed a solid community on her sites A Daily Pinch and a Mommyality. As a freelance writer and professional blogger Lisa has written on assignment for The Savvy Source, MomLogic, Intel’s My Life Scoop, and has been quoted by Forbes Woman and Parent Central Canada. She was part of the groundbreaking #Tweeta20 featured in the Chronicle of Philanthropy for social media fundraising, and is a featured blogger for Picaboo.com

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VIP Guest Blogger

Occasionally you can find guest posts on Skimbaco Lifestyle by carefully selected and distinguished writers and experts on their own field. We call them all VIP Guest Bloggers. You can read more about guest blogging opportunities and some of the past posts.

Comment (1)

  1. As always, this was nicely written. Boundaries are important with friendships. Too often, I continue investing in relationships that aren’t worthy. I use excuses like: “They’re grandfathered in b/c we’ve been friends forever,” or “They probably didn’t see it that way.” But this isn’t healthy. Thank you for the thoughtful reminder.

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